Should I combine finances with my spouse?

There’s a pretty great debate on whether or not you should combine your finance with your spouse. I am not here to make that decision for you, but to share some insight on how it has helped me and my marriage!

When my wife and I first got married, we actually kept separate bank accounts. It was working just fine before we got married, and it wasn’t really a huge priority for us to change it up. When covid happened and my wife Stevye got furloughed, it was causing some stress. I was still working and made the decision that we could better take care of each other by combining our finances. I had no idea at the time how big of an impact this decision would make on our marriage.

I always expected there were going to be some heated money fights, but to be honest the opposite happened. We stopped arguing about money all together. I will say however, when we first combined our finances we also started budgeting together. This is what i believe was the difference maker.

Every month, we DREAMED together. We asked each other about the future, where we wanted to be in 10 years, and what was important to us. As we thought more and more about what truly made us happy, it definitely wasn’t the shopping budget. It was the time we were able to spend together. It was at this point that we both started making significant sacrifices in our budget to increase the amount we were investing. This was the only way we were going to get closer to being able to spend as much time together as we wanted.

Money fights are one of the leading causes of divorce in America. I believe this is because people don’t have the necessary conversations upfront about money. Both parties spend money like it ain’t nothin all month, and then get mad at the other one when there is no money left. Be on the same page BEFORE you spend money. Give each other permission to spend in certain categories and make adjustments together as small things come up.

I have never felt like a bigger failure as a husband than when my wife was tight on money for the month and I had plenty. Could I have just given her some? Yeah absolutely, but making her “ask” for money is not how it is supposed to be. What’s mine is hers. One bed, one budget!